Step Out of The Ashes

When you have been sexually assaulted, a wound – opens. It is deep, dark, it is terrible. It affects you mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

During the 1980s, the topic of childhood sexual abuse reached a zenith in the media, and we all heard the horrifying statistics. While the press has died down, the problem hasn’t. Sexual abuse still impacts children, their families and adult survivors.

In the last few years, we have seen the #METOO movement, the sensationalization of the private domain of our lives has left us once again bruised. Traumatized. We’ve been forced to remember, to look at an area of our lives that we have tried to keep hidden for so long.

Sexual abuse is a profound betrayal of trust. Well into adulthood survivors still experience a wide variety of persistent and often debilitating symptoms.
In addition to suffering from the actual physical sexual abuse, the survivor often carries the painful burden of the terrible secret and/or internalized shame. So what can you do?

Tell a trusted friend. Find a therapist that suits your personality, your way of being, your way of knowing. Share your story with a therapist that you trust.

The pain of the sexual assault has led to us abusing our own bodies, becoming workaholics, foodaholics, alcoholics, bingewatchaholics – so many behaviours which are good in small doses but which we have gone overboard with. The fact is that very few people see our pain… and when they do, they sometimes see it as a blip on a screen whereas you feel it as breakdown of your system, a tremendously deep crack that has caused you to rethink your relationship with self and others, that has affected your trust and your sense of self.
Sharing and grieving helps to reclaim our lives from the ashes of what could have been and to acknowledge not only the physical pain, but the pain of our dreams that have been lost and destroyed.

The assault has affected the fabric of your being. I see it. You know it. If you are reading this, it’s time to move on. You are ready.