Do you remember that time the teacher embarrassed you in front of the whole class? Or when you fell down in that race you were running or even when you placed last in the race? Or when your parents/family told that really awful story about you? How did you feel?
Quite often, one of the emotions that arises for us when we are placed in an embarrassing position is shame. The stigma of shame can stay with us for a long time especially if that shame is related to our private life… like sex.
Healing shame, especially shame related to our body is not easy. Quite often, trauma brings its own level of deep shame. When one has been traumatized, the body remembers and so it stays in an almost permanent position of flight or fight… always ready to defend or sometimes to complete the defense it was unable to enact when you were wounded. It is on the defense. Tense.
To help your body to relax you can try affirmations.
Another self-dialogue could be to take a deep breath. Feel in your body where any heavy emotion resides and tap through it. Or as you breathe, slowly, deeply, enjoy the breath. Then identify any heavy emotion. It could be anger, resentment, jealously….
Now, say out loud….
“Even though I feel shame, fear and anger (and here you can insert any other heavy feeling) I love and accept myself…”
This gives the body permission.
This statement begins a dialogue that changes your self-perception. Here you are no longer denying, repressing, or ignoring your feelings. Nor are you shaming yourself for feeling shame, for not being perfect, for not being successful, pretty, rich ……. enough.
So, let’s say it again:
“Even though I feel shame, fear and anger, I love and accept myself…”